an FB post

On another site i frequent some one I know has recently lost their father. I feel pain for her loss, and I wish I could help her, but with the death so fresh and us barely knowing the other.....well..there isn't much I can do.

When we lose some one dear to our hearts, we remember them in the entirety of our memories. We regret. we cry. We wish it was a dream. The pain is so crushing that often times we want to blame some one or something, even if it means blaming ourselves. Those who love us feel helpless because they know that they cannot simply reach out and magically make us happy. Instead they have to wait until our mourning has passed enough for anything to get through.

I can say that my experiences with loss have made me wiser, but truth be told every loss is felt just as freshly. We can never be prepared no matter how many times it happens. I try to remember that it's okay to cry. Pushing grief aside for too long isn't healthy, nor does it help any one. Yes, there is a time we must push through it in order to prepare for funeral arrangements, or to help those who may be taking it worse, but every one needs to mourn.

The pain of each loss becomes tolerable over time. The wound will heal but it will also flare at odd times, no matter how many years have passed.

What we need to remember is that even though we have lost, there are many things we have yet retained and will gain in the future. Don't allow yourself to get bitter about the things no one can control. Don't allow the sorrow to pull you under. No one, not even those who have passed on, would want that for us.

The ones left alive have the honor and duty to keep life in the memory of our loved ones. Instead of clinging to the regrets, or the sorrows, allow the happy memories to shine. Remember the lessons we have learned through them, and live by them. In this light, although we have lost the body, their legacy lives on. Although their physical form is laid to rest, the soul will never die.

We will all pass when the time comes, and we will all witness the passing of others. This is the hard truth of life. It is a hard road, with many winding turns and rocks that stick in your shoes, but you also don't have to be alone. Remember not to shut out the world, lest you forget how to live, and those who are suffering with you remain feeling helpless and alone themselves.

For those who suffer the loss of a loved one, there is also something we tend to miss. Overcoming the gauntlet of grief allows us to gain the experience to help others who are in need of your empathy.

I hope that the girl will be okay, and I hope that her family will be as well.

This has also reminded me of the people I carry so dearly in my heart and has me question what I will do the day I see them pass if I do not go before them.

I hope that I remember my own words, but I know that I'm not alone.

Reach out today to those you care about, and tell them how much you love them. Don't put off today what you may regret tomorrow.

I love you.